"Why would God give me a baby I can't possible take care of?" the petite brunette questioned as she sat across from Julie, the counselor at the adoption agency.  Leanne came for counseling that morning only because her aunt had insisted.  Earlier the 17 year old had made 2 appointments to have an abortion, which she did not keep, but three months into the pregnancy she still felt abortion was her only option.  A baby did not fit her plans.

Gently reminding Leanne that God is the creator of life, Julie suggested that part of God's plan for the baby might be to bless a couple unable to have a child. As Leanne listened attentively, Julie told her that, contrary to common belief, she could hold the baby in the hospital, pick the parents for the child, meet them if she wished, and later receive pictures and letters.  When Leanne left, she was still uncertain, but 2 weeks later decided to place the child for adoption.

A typical story?  Definitely not. In fact, of the approximate 2 million pregnancies that occur among unmarried women each year, only 1 percent choose adoption, while 49 percent abort the child and 50 percent choose to parent.

Despite dramatic changes in adoption over the past 10 to 15 years, a shadow still hangs over the adoption process. For most, thoughts of adoption remain mired in images of the past when babies were whisked away before their mothers had a chance to see them.  (Those are the stories that you can watch on the Lifetime channel). For others, recent stories of fully open adoptions and high-profile court cases where children were removed from adoptive families have laced adoption with frightening uncertainties.

The truth is far from these extremes.  Most adoption agencies offer a loving supportive process for the woman who chooses to place her baby with another family.  As a result, many women are learning how to turn their crisis into a blessing.

So why, then, does only one woman out of 100 choose adoption.  ... "There's a tremendous peer pressure from peers, family and the culture that implies that adoption is an unloving, rejecting, awful thing to do.  And, it comes through in the question- 'How can you give up your own flesh and blood?' "

Indeed, to understand the heart of a birthmother is to understand a love that says, "I'm willing to set aside my own feelings for nine months so my baby can have a good life".

Why not adoption? by Linda Rooks.  Focus on the Family Magazine 2/06