Living together — Trial marriage?
Or just a lack of commitment?

Instead of marriage, many couples today look at living together as a “trial alternative”. Their hope is that in the end it will protect them from entering into a marriage doomed for divorce. Unfortunately, far from increasing the likelihood of marital success; cohabitation is linked to significantly higher divorce rates and lower levels of health. Commitment is more than just sharing a living space. It is a deep bond that says,” Through thick or thin, I am 100% committed to staying by your side.” If you truly are committed to each other why wouldn’t you wait until it was “official”? Is your partner worth the wait? Are you?

Get the Facts

• During the past 30 years a consistent 96% of the American public has expressed a personal desire for marriage.
• Cohabitation increases young people’s acceptance of divorce. The longer people live together, the less likely they are to desire to get married.
• Unmarried individuals who live together are three times more likely to be depressed than married persons.
• Affairs are twice as common among couples who live together than for married couples.
• Married couples have the lowest rates of domestic violence, while cohabiting couples have the highest, even higher than those who are divorced or separated.

A book by Mike and Harriet McManus, "Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers" (Howard Books), tells us that between 50 and 60 percent of all marriages begin with the two partners cohabitating, and many of those couples no doubt believe they are making a wise move up front. But living together before marriage actually increases the chances of divorce in a first marriage -- 67 percent of cohabitating couples who marry eventually divorce, compared to 45 percent of all first marriages.
 

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