Whatever decision you make regarding marriage at this time will be a major factor in shaping your future and your child's. Make a smart decision. Don't tell yourself that the facts don't matter in your case. Relationships without a marriage vow end much more frequently. Plus, many women have found that you simply can't expect as much from your boyfriend if you're not married. This makes it even harder for you when the baby comes. Having a child together makes you both parents and gives you both the responsibility to love and care for your son or daughter into adulthood.
The very fact that you and your boyfriend are sexually active shows that you desire the closeness and togetherness that is made complete in marriage. Marriage will fulfill these desires and your child's needs will be met in a more consistent, dependable way. This is crucial for your child.
How can you know if you're ready for marriage? This is an important question. You should both ask yourselves: Am I ready to love you until you die? Am I willing to be sexually intimate with only you? Can I promise to be loving and faithful to you even when I don't feel like it? You need to think about the seriousness of this commitment before you decide to marry. If you are not ready for marriage, research shows that it is better for your child to live with only one parent than to have two parents living together unmarried. If you are serious about your commitment, marriage is the best place for you, your boyfriend and your child.
The Bible is full of useful principles that can help you set standards for your life and your marriage. Look up these verses either by yourself or with your mate, and discover God's plan for marriage.
Marriage is God's idea Genesis 2:18-24
Sex in marriage is God's idea. I Corinthians 7:3-5
Once a couple marries, they symbolically become one, and no one should cause them to break up. Matthew 19: 5-6
Unfaithfulness breaks the bond of marriage. Matthew 5:32
Ideally, only death should dissolve a marriage. Romans 7: 2-3
A loyal marriage relationship is the best place to raise children. Malachi 3:15-16
A marriage between two Christians is the best place to raise godly children. 1 Corinthians 7:14
Marriage is to be a picture of the way Christ loves the church. Ephesians 5:32
Men are commanded to love their wives, and women are commanded to respect their husbands, because God knew that those were our greatest needs in relationships. Ephesians 5:33
Not every one should get married, but if you can't control your sexual passions you should definitely get married. 1 Corinthians 7:7-9
Beyond the practical benefits of marriage, there is the mystery of God's plan for relationships. Sex and marriage are His ideas! Because God loves you so much, He wants the absolute best for you. That's why he gave instructions to marry and to save sexual intimacy for marriage. He knew that the best way for your deepest needs to be met was in the security of marriage. When you obey the instructions He has given, He promises to bless you. Marriage is simply the right thing to do when you love someone.
God wants you to find fulfillment in marriage, but not one person can meet all of your needs. You need a relationship with God. Even in the most healthy marriage, you will have a place in your heart that will feel unsettled or unsatisfied. This spot has been described as a God shaped void that only God can fill. God's plan for you can only be known as you get to know him. If you would like to know more about God, please contact us. We would love to tell you how much God loves you and wants to have a personal relationship with you and your mate.
From "Making an informed decision about marriage", Frontlines Publishing. 700 36th Street SE Suite 108/ Grand Rapids, MI 49548-2332 (616)248-4300 order@frontlines.org
